All Things Horse

Forty-seven Years Of Horse Experience – At Your Service!

How to Be a Better Equestrian

In 10 easy, simple-to-do lessons :horse12

#10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don’t pick it up right
away. Shout, “Get Off, Stupid!
GET OFF!”

#9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice “relaxing into the
fall.” Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.

#8. Learn to grab your checkbook and write out a $200 check without
even looking down.

#7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing – they might as well know now.

#6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt, smile as if you are having fun.

#5. Hone your fibbing skills: “See, moving hay bales is FUN!”  and, “No, really, I’m glad YOUR LUCKY performance and multimillion dollar horse won the class. I am just thankful that MY HARD WORK and actual ability won me second place”.

#4. Practice dialing your chiropractor’s number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

#3. Borrow the US Army’s slogan: Be All That You Can Be — bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen…

#2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, “This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is…”

#1. THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN: Remember, it’s never the horse’s fault.

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April 16, 2009 - Posted by | horsing around

3 Comments »

  1. Thanks I found this blog really useful, I’ll recommend it to friends.

    Comment by matt | May 18, 2009

  2. Great Blog Thanks 🙂

    Comment by emma | May 19, 2009

  3. I love this blog, I’ll be recommending it to friends

    Comment by joe | May 19, 2009


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